The Detroit Lions Will Win in 2009

Thursday, Sep 10, 2009 at 12:00 pm ET

In looking at my lineups for my various leagues, I can't help but notice that the Saints open up the year against the Lions. That's good news for fantasy owners with Saints players on their rosters, but not if you're a fan from Detroit. I feel bad for Detroit fans. Seriously. Being a Packer fan, I know what last year's losing season felt like, but only a true Lions fan can tell you what 0-16 feels like.

I doubt that the Lions can repeat their 0-16 season. Statistically difficult. I'm going on record here: They will win at least 1 game this year! Matt Stafford, Calvin Johnson, and Kevin Smith will lead the Lions to a win in 2009. Maybe even two!

With that in mind, I present to you some of the best Lions jokes from around the web. But first, check out what The Onion had to report:

NFL Players Mentor Troubled Detroit Lions

Detroit Lions Jokes

Matthew Stafford has won the Detroit Lions' starting quarterback job. Making it the last win he'll have all year.

General Motors is dropping its Saturn, Pontiac, Hummer, and Saab brands. Detroit hasn't seen this many drops since the last Lions game.

NFL commissioner Roger Goodell has expressed interest in having a team in London. Detroit residents have nominated the Lions.

Q. How do the Detroit Lions count to 10?

A. 0-1, 0-2, 0-3, 0-4, 0-5, 0-6, 0-7, 0-8, 0-9, 0-10

Q. What do the Detroit Lions & Billy Graham have in common?

A. They both can make 60,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ"!

Q. Where do you go in Detroit in case of a tornado?

A. To Ford Field - they never get a touchdown there!

Q. Why are the Lions like a tampon?

A. They are only good for one period and have no second string.

Q. Why doesn't Flint have a professional football team?

A. Because then Detroit would want one

Q. What's the difference between the Detroit Lions and a dollar bill?

A. You can still get four quarters out of a dollar

C'mon Lions Fans! Keep your head up. It won't be that bad.

(Thanks to for the jokes. Great site!)

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